Two Drunken Men

A little original nonsense poem that I wrote a few years ago. I think that the main reason why I wrote this was because I had seen how alcohol can affect one’s inhibition, making him or her act in a way which they would regret later on.

Two men sat on a bench. One gave quite a stench.
The other passed out,
Before giving the other a clout.
When they both came through,
They noticed they sat on a bough:
While beneath them swam sharks,
And the sky was quite dark.
“T’is you that have this trickery!”
Yelled the one who passed the clout.
“No! T’is you that hath done this tom-foolery!”
Replied the one who received the clout.
As they argued progressively,
They didn’t notice
The big, fat boughy
was shrinking with only a space of a hat
between them and the sea.
As the bough grew shorter,
The sharks’ eyes grew wider.
The men noticed it too late
And soon became shark bait.
But before they could be finished eaten,
They woke up for real.
And they found that they had been beaten.
Besides them sat a plate of meal.
They realised that they sat in a cell;
And within, there was a bell.
Presuming there would be no harm,
They decided to ring the charm.
After they had rung,
A magistrate appeared.
“What dost thou want?”
The magistrate enquired.
“We demand to know,
Why we’re in this pitiful state;
Are we to be served on a plate,
Or to be released quite soon?”
The magistrate departed
And returned with a scroll,
Which he unrolled,
And read aloud what it stated.
“This two were caught
In an extreme state of drunkenness,
Acting with great punkness,
Until they were stopped.
They had struggled
And would have have caused damage;
Hence, the bruises
And the bandage.
The two are to be put in stocks
(The one situated two blocks away.)
And not to be released till the next day.
(Make sure you put locks.)”
And, so, the two were in stocks till the morrow,
Filled with their sorrow.
Thus, we have come, of this tale, the end,
Of this two drunken men.


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